An open letter from Colin Powell to the Republican party

Dear Sirs and a Madam or two:

There are many in the party who have expressed shock, outrage, disappointment, and feelings of betrayal over my decision to break with Party lines and endorse Senator Barack Obama.  Well, let me tell you, I can sympathize!

You see, a number of years ago, I was given some information and a vial of fake anthrax and asked to plead a case for war in front of the U.N.  I was somewhat dubious, but I was assured that the information and intelligence upon which I was making our plea was solid, and that this was a just and necessary war.  It turned out, you all were full of crap.  Years of war have proven that our primary reason for starting that trillion-dollar mess was based on unsubstantiated intelligence from questionable sources, and nary a weapon of mass destruction has been found.  Oh I know, some of you are claiming all the WMDs hauled ass into Syria, but you’re full of it.  We’ve got dozens of high-tech spy satellites with their eyes trained on that region; if any sort of mass shipment of weapons happened we would have seen it.

You used me.  You used my name and my good reputation in the world to make your case, and it blew up in all our faces.  To say I felt betrayed, disappointed, shocked and outraged is putting it mildly.  I wanted to drop a bus on you frigging people, since you so symbolically dropped one on me, on my good reputation, and on my honor as a soldier and a man.  I was a shining example of nonpartisanship, of leadership, of integrity.  Nearly overnight you made me into another worthless Bush lackey.  Not only that, but I had a pretty good shot at becoming the first black president.  And as a Republican!  It wasn’t something I actively aspired to, but I’ve dedicated my life to service to my country, and had the calls for me to run been compelling and resounding, I would have.  I would have run with honor and sincerity and honesty and I probably would have won, because I’m pretty moderate and cool and the American people frigging loved me.  Now people on the left lump me in as just another chump in the administration, and people on the right… well, some of you have just gone stark raving mad, and while you may like me I really don’t want to have much to do with you.

However, it would be unfair to say I endorsed Barack Obama out of spite.  I hope you know me enough to know that I’m bigger than that.  I mean, let’s just take a look at the guy — he’s got charm, and charisma, and brains, and if I were a woman I would be madly in love with him.  Heck, even as a guy I have a bit of a man-crush on the dude.  He’s a light in the fog these days in a country craving some leadership and calm in a storm of woes.  And it’s not like the guy the Republican party nominated makes me quiver with excitement.  Sure, I like him, the way you like that crazy uncle that mumbles conspiracy theories at Christmas dinner and tells off your grandpa for being a pinko commie who never understood him.

And of course there are the people who are already saying I’m backing him because he’s a brother.  Come on.  I’m the same color as George W. for chrissake, and Obama ain’t much darker.  But if there’s one thing about his outward appearance that sways me, it’s his ears.  I know they look pretty dorky but you know what?  He uses them for more than holding up a frigging cowboy hat.  He listens.  He seeks knowledge and advice and wisdom, and wants you to tell him what he doesn’t know.  That’s a drink of water in the desert, man, especially after so many years of the administration not giving a damn about what I might have to say, and then the American public mostly despising me for helping make the case for war.  Not only is this guy smart enough to take advice, but he’s so awesome and transformational that maybe he can help me regain at least a little of the respect and credibility I lost because of you.

It is certainly fair to say you didn’t exactly make it hard for me to choose which horse I wanted to back.  You eviscerated all the party loyalty I had when you threw my reputation under a bus to further your pet project in Iraq.  So, I may have sounded my own political death knell, but it was frigging worth it, you assholes.

********************

OK, so maybe Gen. Powell didn’t really write that.  But it’s certainly fun for me to imagine him thinking it.

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5 responses to “An open letter from Colin Powell to the Republican party

  1. Sir, I applaud your frankness and honesty. And can I just say… really really in real life, I applaud you? It took guts to do what you just did. Not that any of us believed you lacked guts, but we questioned who you were seeing when you looked in the mirror lately. So you have done a lot for yourself with those of us on the lefter side of center. Sincerely yours… etc.
    Thanks Lisa!! Loved this!!!

  2. Suddenly because Powell is endorsing obama he is not as evil as he used to be? Yet, Powell was the one encouraging the Iraq war claiming they had WMD. Anyone with intelligence knows that Powell is endorsing based on race.

    98% of black people are voting for obama just because he is black. White people are split between obama, nadar, and McCain. Think about it.

    The truth is this is a race campaign. The Democrats control the senate and congress and have the lowest approval rating in US history. The Democrats couldn’t even beat Bush in the elections thus why they are going after the black vote in the US, about 45 million blacks. Thus, why obama voted present over 130 times, avoided the tough issues, and never challenged his party leaders on senate to preserve his political career. Only 143 days on state senate when he decided to run for office.

    The Democrats lost because the US is not a socialist/communist system. Americans fought against Nazi Germany, their socialist party, and communist USSR for decades, just to name a few.

    Again, Clinton supported deregulation and introduced FTAs like NAFTA. That is why the US economy was strong during his administration. McCain also supports deregulation and fights for FTAs like NAFTA. These initiatives will help our economy. Our economy is very important, McCain is better for our economy. I hope people get educated before they vote.

    US businesses create US jobs. obama wants to limit the growth of US businesses, which is limiting the growth of US jobs. If you increase tax on US businesses they will either just relocate to a lower tax country taking American jobs with them, pass the added tax cost to consumers or go bankrupt. GM and Ford can barely compete globally and obama wants to tax them more. The smaller businesses that are reliant on GM and Ford will also be greatly affected, destroying more US jobs.

    The US is the land of opportunity not the land of equal outcome. Why should government take your money and give it to people who are already on welfare to spread the wealth?

    What Caused Our Economic Crisis? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RZVw3no2A4

  3. Sarah, one logical conclusion from your argument is that every endorsement that McCain has gained from a white person is also simply because he is white. That makes for a LOT of bigots backing the Republican candidate.

    If it’s possible for white people to endorse McCain based on his stance on the issues, and he just happens to be white, it’s not a large leap to assume that a black man could endorse another black man for more reason than the color of his skin. Your assumption of the shallowness of non-white voters is pretty insulting. Have you ever met a black person and had a conversation with that person? You do realize they have actual opinions and stuff, right?

    To your point of black folks voting for Obama simply because he’s black, that’s a fallacy. African-Americans largely vote Democrat. They would have voted for Hillary Clinton because she’s a Democrat. They voted for Kerry and Gore and Bill Clinton. And none of them were black! Oh my!

    GM and Ford are suffering because they produce a substandard product. They also banked mightily on the continual American love affair with SUVs and penis trucks. They can only blame themselves.

    The US is, certainly, the land of opportunity. But for people to take advantage of the freedom of opportunity, first that opportunity needs to exist. It’s hard for someone to make the best for themselves when they can’t afford health care, when they are losing their houses due to the unscrupulous practices of a deregulated financial sector, and when the government has sold its soul to China to pay for a war in Iraq.

    In short, none of your arguments are very compelling, and only paint you uneducated and bigoted.

  4. I linked this post to my today’s cartoon.

  5. Sarah,
    Have you checked Foxnews.com your talking points are a few weeks old, they realized that the majority of americans know that Obama is the better choice for our economy and for restoring our stature as a nation so they moved on. You are supposed to be insinuating that he and Ayers are terrorists now and then next week you’ll start talking about Rezko. Then the really nasty robot calls will start, you know the ones where McCain says Obamas kids are actually white. This is who you are voting for – a man who has abandoned all of his principles because he thinks it’s his turn to be president no matter what.

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