I’m glad I’m not a goldfish

My daughter has a goldfish.  He’s probably about the fourth or fifth in a line of goldfish that have graced our home, as it goes with goldfish.  This guy’s been alive for awhile, I think he’s going on about five months now, but it might be longer.  He has a tendency toward having his float bladder (or whatever it’s called — it’s an organ fish have to keep them properly buoyant, so they don’t float to the top or sink to the bottom) go off-kilter.  Occasionally he’s just too float-y and he struggles to keep himself from constantly floating to the top of the little tank he lives in.  I’ve recently learned that a snack of peas can nip this in the bud and get the fish back to normal, and it really works quite well.  (Of course I say “a snack of peas” but really, it’s a “snack of pea” because he only gets one that I crush between two fingers and remove the outer skin.)

I noticed last night when I went in to make sure Lane was snugly under her blankets that he was a bit too buoyant, so I gave him a pea and spent a little time watching him.  I was compelled to watch him for a few reasons — first, well, it’s just sort of soothing to watch a fish swim around for a few minutes.  Second, because he seems to really, really enjoy the pea snacks he gets.  He attacks the pea like a little golden piranha.  If he had the capacity to growl, I imagine he would.  Thirdly he was in the middle of taking the biggest poop I’ve ever seen come out of a goldfish, and I was sort of compelled to watch to see how big this sucker got before it fell off.  Weird, I know, but it was late and I was not at all sleepy.

It definitely made me realize I don’t want to ever be a goldfish, or probably any fish for that matter.  When the urge hits to drop the kids off at the pool, I want nothing more to sit on a toilet, by myself… and thanks to being home with the kids, I don’t even always get the ‘by myself’ part.  I certainly would not, ever ever, wish to go about my business with a giant turd hanging out my butt.

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4 responses to “I’m glad I’m not a goldfish

  1. I would never want to be a goldfish, either. Think of what poor Flugg went through. Do these goldfish have names?

  2. You just made me laugh!

  3. The goldfish usually have names like Fishy or Swimmy, but they have been used interchangeably among all the different goldfish.

  4. It called swim bladder disease. I think I spell it right.
    Next time one of my fish get swim badder disease, I will have to feed them a few peas and see if it help them.

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