If you ever feel the slightest, possible twinge of any sort of stomach bug, or if anyone in your household is currently showing outward signs of gastroenteritis, do not – I REPEAT, DO NOT – eat bologna. If you do indeed begin suffering from the bug, the bologna will wreak havoc with your digestive system the likes of which you have never experienced before and which you would not wish on your worst enemy. The generated odors alone will have you begging for mercy.
I will spare you the details around how I found this out. Just trust me.