Tag Archives: gross

A small bit of advice

If you ever feel the slightest, possible twinge of any sort of stomach bug, or if anyone in your household is currently showing outward signs of gastroenteritis, do not – I REPEAT, DO NOT – eat bologna.  If you do indeed begin suffering from the bug, the bologna will wreak havoc with your digestive system the likes of which you have never experienced before and which you would not wish on your worst enemy.  The generated odors alone will have you begging for mercy.

I will spare you the details around how I found this out.  Just trust me.

Thanks for the … wholesomeness?

According to Dictionary.com:

whole·some –adjective

1. conducive to moral or general well-being; salutary; beneficial: wholesome recreation; wholesome environment.
2. conducive to bodily health; healthful; salubrious: wholesome food; wholesome air; wholesome exercise.
3. suggestive of physical or moral health, esp. in appearance.
4. healthy or sound.

This leaves me just a little confused.  You see, in this household we love us some Fla-Vor-Ice.  We buy them by the gross.  (Actually, more than a gross.  By the 200-pack.)  I just went for three of them for an after-breakfast treat for me and the kids and noticed on the box they are “pasteurized for purity and wholesomeness”.  Surely they aren’t trying to imply that these are GOOD for you just because they are pasteurized, since to me (and it seems, Dictionary.com as well) “wholesome” means healthy as it relates to food.  As last I checked, 25 empty calories aren’t doing anything for my well-being.  So perhaps they mean definition #1.  Does eating Fla-Vor-Ice lead to moral well-being?  I really couldn’t say.

And I’m not even going to get started on the purity part of it.