Tag Archives: new baby

Letting go

My daughter Lane has rarely been an easy-going child. I saw it coming, basically from the first day she was alive. Not content to ever, ever be alone, I didn’t get any sleep in the hospital until I brought her into the hospital bed with me. Then I figured out really quickly if I was going to get any sleep once we got home, she’d have to be in bed with us there, too. Naps happened more often than not on my lap or at the breast, or in the Baby Bjorn. And I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. The baby books warned me not to let her sleep too long, but she wouldn’t sleep more than 45 minutes at a stretch. The baby books warned me not to let her to go too long between feedings, but she wanted to nurse every hour.

I think she was a couple weeks old when I sort of came to terms with things, with accepting our version of normal. Finding the Dr. Sears books and website really, really, really helped too. Discovering the term “high need” and realizing Lane was not the first baby to just need a bit more of her parents than might be average.

Having a baby attached to you, in every sense of the word, might seem like it’s a pretty big burden to bear. And I won’t lie about it, there were many times I wished she would just let SOMEONE ELSE help her, even for ten minutes, without screaming like a banshee. But I gotta admit, there are some wonderful things about having a child bonded so closely with you, with such high needs. We had so many precious, intimate middle-of-the-night snuggle/nursing sessions, when the house was quiet and dark and cool. Feeling the pressure of her in-and-out breathing in her sleep as I would wear her in the Bjorn or sling as I finally got a chance to do some laundry or dishes. How she’d be glued to me for a good hour after I’d pick her up from day care once I went back to work, where she just insisted we sit still and cuddle and nurse and just be together to reconnect after a long day apart.

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New baby and the rapture

I spent yesterday and today a couple hundred miles north of home, doting on my friends Amanda and Dave and their new baby, Irene.

Oh my gosh.  Irene is just beautiful!  And sooooo tiny!  But no tinier than either of my babies were; I can barely believe that my kids were that small once.  They are all doing great, and I had a really, really great visit.  And, I got to sleep a solid seven hours straight without being woken up by a toddler or a preschooler or a snoring husband or a wacky dog.  That in itself was worth the trip.  🙂

As I drove home tonight, I was flipping through radio stations and came across some guy talking about the rapture.  It turns out, according to this guy, that it will be on May 21, 2011.  I wasn’t aware they’d picked a date.  So mark your calendars.  If for no other reason, to know when the crazies are going to start coming out of the woodwork.  I wonder, on the day the rapture is supposed to happen and having advanced knowledge, will people who believe it’s coming still go about their normal business, or will they wait in their houses or churches?  Because I’m thinking,  seeing as I’m not exactly god-fearing, it would be a GREAT day to run errands if all the Christians are going to stay home.

Cut it out, you pervs

I’ll be back to the rest of the presidents soon, I promise.  I just needed a day off!

Now, I’ve written a lot about breastfeeding so I get some weird search engine hits.  Which is fine, I’m a big girl, I can handle it.  Except yesterday… yesterday was a first.  Someone found my blog by searching for “dog who wants to be breastfed”.  Maybe there is a noble reason behind this search… an orphaned puppy that yearns for its mother.  But I have my doubts.

And thus I reiterate my prior declaration of “You people are perverts!”

In other news, my friends Amanda and Dave had their baby today.  Congrats you guys, and welcome to the world, Irene!  It’s pretty cool here, I think you’ll like it.  And your parents are already madly in love with you.  Lucky for you they are a couple of pretty awesome people, so I think you’re in for a good life.  Make the most of it, kiddo.  I can’t wait to meet you, and hopefully it will be very, very soon!

A correction

I wrote yesterday that all my public breastfeeding experiences had been positive.  I forgot about the only one where I’d gotten a negative reaction.

Lane was about five or six weeks old, and I was out shopping for a crib for her.  (No time like the present!)  As I’ve mentioned, she has impeccable timing.  As the saleslady was writing up the sale on the crib and changing table, my boobs were enthusiastically summoned.  So I nursed her, discreetly, sitting in a glider rocker on the sales floor and finished conducting my business.

Later on, a friend who was with me and helping me shop commented that he was taken aback by my actions…. he never outright condemned what I’d done, but made it clear it made him uncomfortable and questioned whether the public nursing was appropriate.

Lucky for him, he’s a good guy and a close friend, and I didn’t punch him in the balls.  It helped that his wife, another very good friend, was there too and totally took my side.  Honestly, I was a bit taken aback myself.  I’d mentally prepared for negative fallout from strangers but didn’t ever expect it from a close friend!  I can’t remember most of what was said as I was still sort of in that newborn-baby-induced-sleep-deprived-fog but I think the gist of my message to him was “get over it” and “when you have a kid, I’m sure your wife will do it, too” and his wife heartily concurring with both points.

(I can say in his defense that his exposure to my breastfeeding my kids is probably his first real experience with such a relationship.  I may have been his first close friend to have a baby, and while his brother had a baby before I did, I’m pretty sure she was formula-fed.  This was new territory for him.  And since he’s so opinionated open and communicative, he was eager to share his point of view with me.)

It’s funny to reflect on that now, because his wife, my very good friend, is due to have their first baby — technically in a month but really, anytime soon.  She is 100% totally determined to breastfeed, so good for her.  And he’s come a long way… I’ve nursed in front of him a ton more since then, so either he’s more comfortable with it in general, or he just learned to keep his piehole shut.  Maybe it was a combination of the two… at first, shut piehole, but gradually getting desensitized until one day he realized “hey, this isn’t freaking me out.”  Regardless, he loves my kids like they are his own and they totally dig him too (and the same goes for his wife, who I know reads here and I don’t want her to think I don’t know she adores my kids.  I know.  I love them both immensely for the love and affection they show my children.)

Anyway, he’s going to be a great dad, even if he does get a little overprotective of his wife’s breasts from time to time.  I’d love to be able to reassure him by saying “Hey, don’t worry!  Nobody’s trying to look at your wife’s boobs” but the truth is, she’s got big frigging boobs.  Everyone looks at her boobs.  I look at her boobs.  And pregnancy has made them even bigger… who knows what her milk coming in will do to them.  So, sorry buddy, they are looking.  But they’d be looking anyway, even if there wasn’t a baby attached.  Don’t get too worked up over it.