Tag Archives: sleep

So far, so OK

Well, it’s like day 3 of Weight Watchers, and despite a belated birthday celebration at the in-laws’ last night, which meant ice cream cake (Carvel, not Cold Stone.  😦  ) I haven’t completely screwed up with the eating yet.  I’ve gone over my daily points allocation so far, but that’s what that weekly bank of extra points is for!   Costco provided lots of bagged salad and baby carrots, and I’m getting back into the groove of label-reading before I impulsively buy anything, and I’m finding that the Points calculator in my brain is still pretty accurate.

One potentially positive outcome might be a better bedtime; most nights I’m still raring to go at midnight.  Tonight, it’s now 12:20 a.m. and I’m downright sleepy.  Perhaps I was fueling my own late nights with too many calories during the day.

I’m feeling sort of blah tonight.  I can’t really put a finger on why.  But blah, nonetheless.  Hopefully tomorrow will be less blah-inducing.

Who said they could grow up?

Lane amazes me nearly every day.

Lately, we’ve found the bedtime ‘routine’ that works best is simply to ask her to get herself into bed, give her permission to turn on her bedside light and tell her she can look at as many books as she likes, then turn off her light whenever she’s ready.

She nearly always picks out about seven or eight books to page through, does this in 10-15 minutes, and then turns the light out and is asleep soon afterwards.

It is just such a grown-up way to do bedtime. It’s how *I* do bedtime most nights. Sigh.

In other news, Jake is 11 months old today. My goodness, where does the time go? He’s got such a vibrant personality, it just makes my heart smile. He is almost constantly happy and giggly. He loves singing, and has started to participate in singing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” by saying “ro ro ro ro ro ro”. We also add a second verse:

Rock, rock, rock your boat, gently down the stream.

If you see a crocodile, don’t forget to scream! [scream here]

Jake highly anticipates the scream. Gets downright giddy and acts completely impatient if you sing the second verse but leave out the scream.

And he’s walking. Not as his primary mode of transportation, though I suspect by his first birthday he’ll be tooling around all bipedal. For now, he’s stringing together four or five steps at a time, and is just pleased as punch with himself.

Of course, as generally comes with most developmental milestones – and walking is a biggie – he’s not much interested in going to sleep. He fell asleep at 8:00 p.m., and I erroneously thought he was going to bed a little early. Oh no, silly Mommy, that was just a nap. He’s now sitting awake on the couch with his daddy as I write this. Yeah, it’s 1:00 a.m. I tried getting him to sleep a half-hour ago and he’d have nothing to do with it. He must have thought I was pretty funny to try, because all he did was laugh at me.

Experiments in Parenting

Lane, my 3 year-old daughter, can be a little tough to handle sometime.  I’m happy to tell you seven ways from Sunday how awesome she is, she’s tough and brave and energetic and smart and happy and fun.  But a lot of the traits that make her so awesome also make her… well, a minor challenge to parent sometimes.

I’ve finished reading one book – Setting Limits With Your Strong-Willed Child –  and I’m currently starting to read Positive Discipline which is a bit more academic in tone so far but nonetheless interesting.  Both seem to espouse 1) that negativity gets you nowhere and that 2) it’s important to empower our children.  Well, OK, I knew #1, and I thought I was good at #2, but there are areas I need to work on.  Lane is capable of dressing herself, which is proven by the times she’s put on tights and a skirt and a shirt all by herself.  But then sometimes she loses her patience putting socks on and I am usually happy to swoop in and rescue her, rather than take the time to let her persist, or insist that she persist.

Yesterday we had such a situation.  I had plans to go to Target (aka the “Red Store” in our house because, well, it’s all red) and then to Costco and told Alena she could come if she got herself all dressed and ready.  Frank was home and feeling the need to veg, so I thought it would be nice if he hung out with Jake for a couple hours and I would take Lane with me.  She got her shirt and pants on well enough, and then came the socks.  I’m not sure what happened, but her patience wore thin with them very, very quickly.  She insisted I help her, and I refused.  I told her I knew she was a big girl and could do it herself.  She made a couple very feeble attempts and resorted to crying to try to get me to help her.  I continued to refuse, and told her she only had a few more minutes to get those socks and shoes on or I was leaving without her.  I stayed calm, counted down the time she had left, she got one sock on, and then it was time to go and I had my coat on and she had no coat on and only one sock.  So she was left behind, and she was NOT HAPPY.  Setting Limits says that if she doesn’t get something done in a reasonably time frame, then to let her deal with the natural or logical consequences of not finishing.  I think not being able to go with me was a pretty fair consequence.  I guess the truly ‘natural’ consequence would have been to make her go to the car with no socks or shoes or jacket on, and let her experience the cold on her feet and skin.  But it was pretty cold yesterday, and the voice in my head that blabbers on about how cold feet = getting sick simply wouldn’t let me do that.  And she didn’t HAVE to go to Target, it wasn’t like I was taking her to the doctor or school.  So she stayed home.  Frank says she cried for a few minutes but then was OK.

When I got home, I didn’t mention anything about it.  After I had everything put away, she said something to me like “You left without me because I didn’t put my socks on.”  I replied something like “Yes, I did.  I would have liked you to come with me.  You missed out on all the free samples at Costco!”   And I gave her a big hug and kiss and told her I loved her. (That part’s nothing new, I probably do that twenty times a day.)

The other experiment is something from the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution and applies to Jake, who despite closing in on a year old (and OMG how did THAT happen?!?) is not sleeping through the night.  In fact, he’s barely sleeping through an hour.  He generally has a 12 hour period of sleep at night, like 9:00 p.m. – 9:00 a.m., but he wakes up a minimum of four times in that period.  Most nights it’s five or six times.  And each time, I find I have to resort to nursing him back to sleep.

So, one of the things I’m doing is called the Gentle Removal Method from No-Cry, which basically amounts to removing my nipple from his mouth before he’s really asleep, to get him used to drifting off without it in his mouth.  The intent is that you remove it gradually earlier in the putting-to-sleep process, so that eventually the baby isn’t really nursing to sleep at all, but might be nursing before going to sleep.  This is a method of real patience, but it paid off handsomely with Alena when she was about this age, so now it’s Jake’s turn.  I’m also trying to introduce a lovey to Jake.  I’ve picked one of the smaller stuffed toys we have – a little bear that also winds up and plays lullaby music.  Starting last night, as I nurse him to sleep at bedtime, I’m letting him snuggle with the bear while he nurses, thus associating the bear with nursing and falling asleep.  I feel conflicted about this.  Is it really the best thing to try to fixate him on an inanimate object, when up until now I’ve been his lovey/pacifier?   But at the same time, I’ve been his lovey/pacifier.  And I’m tired.

We’ll see how it goes.  I’m pretty confident the gentle removal will provide some improvement.  I’m not sure if I’ll persist with the lovey idea, but I’m going to keep with it for the next few nights, too, and see what happens.

Lessons learned

So, yeah, no sex last night, as I stated.

Yeah, I could have woken my husband up, and he probably would have been glad I did.  But at the same time, if he’d woken me up to have sex with me, I’d probably kick him in the taint, so that’s what mostly guided my decision to let him sleep last night.  Lesson learned from the comments from yesterday’s post — it’s OK to wake him up.  🙂  I really already know that… but really, his sleeping was a convenient excuse to use a little free time to do something I’ve been meaning to do for weeks…

There’s a certain baby soap I’ve bought for my kids’ baths, that consistently makes my hands break out in vesicles, a common result of contact dermatitis.  I’ve thought about taking it with me to the doctor to find out what random lotion/soap ingredient is the perpetrator of this annoyance, but in a stealthy swash of wisdom (did that phrase even make sense?) I figured I could cross-reference ingredients from products that don’t cause an allergic reaction and try to figure out this mystery.  Another lesson learned: I was able to narrow the potential culprits down to about a half-dozen different ingredients, so that’s productive.
A completely pathetic activity to pursue in lieu of sex, but productive nonetheless.

To make amends with myself and my husband, who doesn’t know he missed out on the first sex in about two months last night, I’ve alluded that if he puts Lane to bed and gets her to sleep fairly soon, he will totally score.  I figure this accomplishes three things:  1) it will hopefully get Lane to bed at a reasonable hour, AGAIN, and 2) I will get to have sex even though I still would have probably initiated even if *I* put Lane to bed and 3) it buys me some time to sit here and type.  I rarely try to manipulate him with promises of sex, but hell, if it works and we’re both happy with the end result, maybe that’s not a bad thing.  Lesson learned.

And my last lesson learned?  Tagging a post with “sex” brings on an inordinate amount of traffic to my blog.

Why does this not surprise me

My kids are both asleep.  Before 11:00 p.m.

Yes… THAT is surprising.

But, once they were both confirmed asleep, I go to find my hubby to tell him the good news, maybe canoodle on the couch a little, and HE is asleep, too.

I may never get laid again.

Sleep, sleep! My kingdom for some sleep!

This is really starting to take its toll.

I’ve mentioned previously, my daughter is a night owl.  Often she isn’t asleep until 1:00 or 2:00 a.m.  Rare is the night she’s asleep before midnight.

Bedtime is a struggle and it gets me keyed up.  By the time I’m ready to fall asleep, Jake (the 10 month-old) is up to nurse.  I’m clearly not getting enough solids in him because he’s up way too much to nurse, in my foolhardy opinion.  But these days he’s only mildly interested in baby food, preferring foods he can feed himself.  But those end up more on him than in him.  And the cycle continues.

So, I’m up with him, as I’ve said, somewhere between two and a hundred times a night.   And then they are both ready for the day around 11:00 a.m., which is late enough for me to get a fair night’s sleep usually, but not nearly enough to feel well-rested, especially since Jake’s up so often.

I probably really need to just yank Lane out of bed at 8:00 a.m. a couple mornings in a row and get her shifted to a different schedule.  I just so do not have the willpower to get myself up to do it… and the cycle continues.  I really shouldn’t have the audacity to bitch about it when I could probably fix it with a little effort (and a lot of coffee).

Regardless, I’m tired.

Home

We spent most of New Year’s Eve driving back home.  I wanted to stay in Buffalo until New Year’s Day but the weather forecast was not encouraging of that plan, so we skedaddled yesterday.

We have a Magellan GPS thingamabob for our car, which I love.  One spiffy thing it does is it tells you the estimated arrival time for your trip.  The whole trip it was in the 12:15-12:30 ballpark.  We’d make up time (because it assumes you drive the speed limit, silly Magellan) and then I’d have to pee or a child would demand sustenance, and we’d lose the 15 minutes we’d just gained.  With an hour left on the trip, we had it down to 12:04, then Jake wanted to nurse.  I was able to appease him with a ‘biter biscuit’ for a half hour, but 30 minutes from home he just had to have him some boob.  We nursed just enough to make it happily home, and got back on the road.  We ended up being only a few yards from our driveway when the clock in our car struck midnight, so hubby and I were able to give kisses in the driveway and give the kids kisses right on the stroke of twelve.   Not a huge deal if it hadn’t worked out, but it was nice that it did.

We got the car all unloaded, a feat unto itself.  Did some unpacking, let the kids wind down from being in the car, got them ready for bed, and me and the kids were finally asleep around 3:00 a.m.  Then, joyfully, I woke up at 8:00 a.m., one kid on each side of me in my bed, to discover that Lane had her first nighttime accident in two months… in our bed.  Oh what fun it is to change bedsheets in a sleep-induced stupor.  Or something like that.  But we did, and sleep returned, and we managed to sleep until noon.  Ta da.

Now, I’m going to make a very late brunch of waffles, and we’re watching the Sabres-Penguins Snow Bowl on TV.  Not a bad way to spend New Year’s Day.